"The 'second moons' trip us up," writes Pat Enkyo O'Hara, in Most Intimate: A Zen Approach to Life's Challenges. The two moons are the moon above and the reflection in the water. The moon above us connotes our true self, the Truth, and what "God" indicates. This moon can be experienced but never spoken.
O'Hara says, basically, "Our appearance, our story of ourselves made of many stories, none we were born with, creates suffering." For spiritual wellness, we return to the first moon. This writing is about that return. Let us proceed and see where the passage leads us.
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Zen master Ju-ching (Japan, 1400s) became a renowned Zen teacher and was once the sanitation officer at a monastery. The sanitation officer shoveled excrement. The monastery had wooden toilets, and the dung and urine fell into tiled trenches below.
Weekly, Ju-ching would clean out the trenches with buckets and take the manure to the garden. Then, he would wash the tiles with rags and brushes.
Once, his teacher, Setcho, asked him, "How do you clean what has never been soiled?" Ju-ching did not have an answer. He kept practicing with that question for a year and kept cleaning the toilets.
Afterward, Ju-ching went to his teacher. He affirmed, "I have come upon what has never been soiled."
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Much of my work has been providing spiritual guidance for persons who have a substance use disorder. Almost all that work has been in jail or prison.
One could ask, "Then, what do you see when with such a person?" Foremost, I see what Ju-ching saw. I see what cannot be soiled. In my work, this, among other things, means what cannot be an addict.
Thus, my role as a spiritual caregiver is to assist others in seeing the unsoiled they are. To do that, I must live in the realization of the same truth. That part of me is my true self. And my true self is their true self. When we see behind all our stories, there is one true self. This true self, or essence, manifests in many selves. We are candles with the same light, each shining distinctly. We embrace both: the sameness and the distinctness.
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Here, skillful means leads us to balance the "soiled" and "unsoiled." The "soiled" is present. Yet, the key is to work with the "soiled" from the direction of the "unsoiled." Would one wisely take a bath in clean or dirty water to remove dirt? Yet, one does not deny the dirt. Still, dirt does not clean dirt.
We are all like boats with barnacles. Unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and actions have attached themselves to us for various reasons. We, therefore, cannot hide in some idea of our innate innocence. Yet, we can work toward healing by embracing that innate innocence. We heal coming from health, not disease. We are using clean water to remove the dirt.
Thus, spiritual living includes reconnecting with our true selves. This reconnection is a return of the whole self to the Center. We can choose to name that Center whatever we wish. Some persons prefer an anthropomorphic way, like Kuan Yin, Yah, Jehovah, God, Creator, Father, Mother, Christ, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Great Spirit, Spirit, the Friend, or the Beloved. Other persons connect through abstract images like the following: the Light; Love; the Universe; the Good, True, and Beautiful; the Good; Beauty; that of God in everyone; the Dharmakaya; the Sacred; Sacredness; Grace; Reality; the Real; the Ultimate. Some persons may find an attraction to both.
We need to become intimate with something bigger than our suffering, and we do not need to understand it. If the image(s) of your Center you can understand, you will need another image(s). Some images do not benefit us or do not help us enough, and some work for us for a time and we see a need to change or deepen our view of the same. For example, a person may continue to relate to "God," while, as they change, so does their relative understanding of what "God" means to them.
A man once told me he was informed his Higher Power could be a light bulb. Hopefully, one will soon outgrow such limiting images, even as many theists would do well to outgrow the sky god sitting on a throne up there in or above the expanse somewhere. While believing in Santa Claus is age-appropriate to a point, afterward, it is regressive and immature. We need a Center-image(s) that summons us to transcend our past suffering, not simply adapt to a new norm, even if that norm is wellness.
Wellness, from a spiritual orientation, becomes much more than merely not being unwell. Wholeness is not only the lack of unwholeness. Wellness is the beginning of so much more than we dreamed possible. There will always be more healing, more learning, and more of ourselves to grow into. The Way has no beginning or end.
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We can discover we are not soiled at all. We see our suffering as an addition to that we are. So, to say "we are all soiled" means, again, like dirt or barnacles, we experience soiling. We do not say to the body, "You are dirt." We do not say to the boat, "Hey, boat! You are barnacles."
This truth is in the song, "My Mind is a Clear Blue Sky" -
My mind is a clear blue sky. My mind is a clear blue sky. Clouds come and clouds go. My mind is a clear blue sky.
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Also, in the Metta (Compassion) Mantra of Buddhism, we speak or chant -
May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature. May I awaken to the light of my true nature.
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In compassion, we speak to that of others free of disease, mistakes, and suffering. They may not have ever realized this innocence about themselves. They have forgotten their basic goodness, like a sky identifying with the clouds. They feel basically bad. Others who have so identified may be supporting them in this delusion. When a child, I was raised on the religious teaching that I was a totally depraved sinner. Being born "totally depraved sinner" was a doctrine of the religious sect. What a horrific thing to say to a child. Persons who have lost touch with their true selves often, knowingly or not, discourage others from discovering that self.
We can embody and articulate the light of the true self, our innate innocence. We can do this for we see that true nature. We know it, for we know it within ourselves. We can guide others to discover a way - which may not be our way - to connect to the Light of all lights, a sign of and symbol of wholeness.
Graciousness means accepting and valuing how others find a spiritual path for themselves. When my path changed, I did not get much support, but many things happened to discourage me and try to invalidate the way I came to relate to God and myself. My birth family could not support me, for they were aligned with an exclusive religious sect. To the people of my native religion, my way was a betrayal. Not being supported, however, did not deter me. And, yes, some persons valued the transformation and for a time companioned me. One such person was an Episcopal spiritual guide who companioned me for five years. To them, I am grateful.
I share the above about myself to say our role as compassionate beings is to honor that persons find different ways to return home, home to themselves. To love another is to want what is best for them. We want them to be joyful, peaceful, and loveful. We do not want them to suffer, even as we naturally wish not to.
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All those ways to the Center and ourselves are one Way. What is important is that we realize we all are the clear blue sky, regardless of the cloudiness that sometimes may block the light. The light has never gone anywhere. We all shine.
We cannot take anyone to the Center. We need not decide what that is for anyone. We cannot discover another person's true self for them. We can, however, surely help. We can walk each other home and find out that home is always here. To say home is to say your name.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2024. Permission is given to use photographs and writings with credit given to the copyright owner.
*Brian's book is An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love. The book is a collection of poems Brian wrote based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
